I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
