I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
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