So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
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