His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
