i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
