I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
