Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
