did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
