Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
