Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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