I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
