I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
