Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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