Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
