He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
