Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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