Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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