I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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