i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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