i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
