you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
