you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
