Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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