I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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