Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
