either way he was missing a nipple.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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