apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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