I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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