I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
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