clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I came so hard my ears popped.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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