If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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