how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
