I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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