Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
