My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
