im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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