dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
