I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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