Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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