I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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