So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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