Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I think my moral compass just broke
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
