Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
