the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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