It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
