My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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