Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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