is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
