Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
