I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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