Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
