this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
