So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
